Ginko's Request: Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV, 'kay?
Lost as to whether to live as a woman or as a man,
Kyubei-san met a shady fortune teller who turned her into a man!
What's more, that phenomenon affected all of the Kabuki District.
It turned Gin-san into this,
He
Kagura-chan into this,
Hero
and I, Shimura Shinpachi, ended up looking like this.
Pink Glasses
Wait, why?!
The culprits were the extremist religious cult of Dekobokkoism,
who declared that those who didn't remain faithful to their new gender
would be subject to divine punishment,
and tried to force us to adopt their beliefs as our state religion.
Because of the now-pointlessly-pretty Takarazuka Revue gorilla,
we ended up catching their attention
and getting surrounded.
That's when the Shinsengumi- turned-Cunsengumi showed up.
As you might expect, Okita-san was a top-class beauty,
Okita Sogo (F)
but Hijikata-san...
Hijikata Toshiro (F)
Calories Come Back to Bite You Just When You've Forgotten About Them
What's with these people?
Don't tell me
the government's lapdogs have snuck into this town.
Shinsengumi (F)
Huh? Are those dogs, Pachie?
One of them looks like a pig to me.
Looks like Tokyo X.
What on Earth is Tokyo X?
A branded breed of pig from Tokyo.
Farm
No, that's not a pig! It's a demon!
It's Hijikata Toshiro-san, the demonic vice chief!
Hijikata Toshiro (F)
You mean Tokyo-X-Shiro-san, right?
Tokyo-X-Shiro (F)
Who are you calling X-Shiro?!
Calm down, Tenshiro-san.
What do you mean, Tenshiro?!
Why'd it become a Roman numeral?!
Give her a break, boss.
The moment Tenshiro-san became a woman,
all of the mayonnaise calories he'd accumulated came bursting out,
leaving him in this state.
As if turning into a woman wasn't bad enough!
Why am I the only one who looks like this?!
Don't worry, Tenko.
We're all in the same situation.
All of the gorilla I'd accumulated came bursting out, too.
Despite how I look, my ass hair is running rampant.
Kondo Isao (F)
What the hell is "accumulated gorilla"?!
What are you saying with that pretty face?!
That's right, Tenko.
All girls put in a lot of effort behind the scenes.
Okita Sogo (F)
If you wanna go on a diet, we'll join you.
All right, guys.
We're having barbecued pork today.
All of your accumulated sadism is bursting out!
Gosh, I haven't had barbecue in so long!
I might end up overeating.
But we have to make sure we don't get bad breath.
Hey!
What are you doing, you bunch of drag queens?!
Is this really the time for that?!
If you intend to stand in our way,
we will eliminate you along with the heretics.
Unfortunately, you're the heretics in our eyes.
We won't let you have your way in this town any longer!
You...
...damn heretics!
No need to worry, Dekobokkoists.
If anyone dares to defy Lord Dekobokko,
we, the Cunsengumi, shall throw them in jail!
Don't tell me, you guys...
Sorry, but we came to protect this town from heretics like you.
The government's already making moves to adopt Dekobokkoism as the state religion.
N-No way!
So basically, we were sent here to crack down on heretics who defy the state religion.
If you can't understand how wonderful those teachings are,
I feel so sorry for you.
Until things are settled,
we'll take care of the heretics.
Could you leave things to us?
I see, comrades.
A wonderful mindset.
I'm sure Lord Dekobokko is smiling down on you from the heavens.
Let us work together to correct this planet's erratic gender roles.
Authenticating
Unlocked
Hacking complete.
Now the surveillance cameras in this area shouldn't pose a problem.
Good.
What's going on here?
It's as you see.
They've taken over all the surveillance cameras in this town.
Try anything funny like you did earlier,
and they'll come after you immediately.
If we'd gotten into a big fight back there,
all of Earth would've ended up like the Kabuki District.
What's your point?
If you keep up your moronic acts, we won't be able to cover for you.
Just so we're clear, what happened back there was
because your moronic chief defecated outdoors—
It wasn't outdoor defecation! It was a freedom fly-away du—
It was outdoor defecation, wasn't it?
Were you people tailing that cult before all this happened?
We received intel that a religious group on the interspace wanted lists
was planning to make contact with Earth.
While we managed to figure out that they'd set up base in this town,
we didn't expect them to use "God" this early in the game.
That's why we ended up in this mess, too.
"God"?
There's a satellite orbiting Earth way up in space.
That's what the "God" they worship really is.
To further their doctrine, the Dekobokkoists were researching
a drug that could manipulate the human body's hormone balance.
In other words, a drug that could make men more manly, and women more feminine.
But they ended up creating something unexpected in the process:
the virus that's infecting us right now.
A drug that turns humans into pigs?!
That's not what I said!
Their radical missionary work bordering on terrorism began only after that.
Indeed.
That light was no divine judgment.
It was a hormone-reversing virus fired by an attack satellite.
In the end, this mess was entirely the doing of filthy humans.
But why would they turn you into a filthy pig, of all things?
Who are you calling a filthy pig?
The bakufu has quarantined this town,
but the virus itself doesn't last long in the air.
What's more, it's basically not contagious at all.
So Tae-chan won't get infected and turn into Shimura Tae-X?
That's a relief.
Jyubei-san,
thanks for your concern.
The question is how to stop that satellite
and get our hands on the vaccine to return our bodies to normal.
It's unlikely we can stop the satellite, though.
Apparently it has a system where
it'll automatically fire the virus at Earth the moment it detects any irregularities.
There's nothing we can do.
So you're saying we have to strike the cult directly to fix things?
And we're the only ones who can do that? With these bodies?
Yeah.
We have to slip through their surveillance, find their base,
and take them all out before they press the switch of destruction.
If it's even possible to pull such a stunt, that is.
No way! That's impossib—
Oh, it is possible.
No matter how powerful Wei may be,
if Wu and Shu work together,
Wei
Wu Shu
they can definitely hold them off!
Battle of Red Cliffs
It's the Battle of Red Cliffs!
Let us take down Cao Cao together!
What in the world are you even fighting against?!
Also, aren't you supposed to be in Cao Cao's camp?!
Well, if it's a way to return my body to normal, I'll take it.
I'd even take a pig's help right now.
The hell's that supposed to mean?
Oh, all right.
But if you prove useless, we'll leave you behind.
You'd better not drag your piggy feet.
Can't you damn sadists talk without adding "pig" to everything?!
All right!
From here on, we're comrades-in-arms!
To celebrate our alliance...
Prepare a pig roast!
Let's share the Oath of the Pig Garden!
Oath of the Pig Garden
We're back to this?!
First, we have to take care of the surveillance set up all over the place.
As it stands, we can't make any moves.
We'll go around connecting this to every camera we find.
It'll hack into the camera and start looping a previously recorded video.
Listen up.
If they notice us, everything will be ruined.
Be as natural as possible,
try your best not to defy their teachings,
and act feminine.
Let's go, girls.
Hey! Soko, Ginko!
Why don't we hit up a cafe for some mayo bowl—
There are no girls like that.
Wh-What was that for, Ginko?
That retort was too violent. Aren't you a girl?
Sorry, Tenko!
But it was your fault for talking about mayo bowls after you said you'd go on a diet!
R-Right.
Girls diet all year round, don't they?
Yeah!
You always go off to take in more calories the moment your mind wanders.
Come, let's enjoy this Uji Gintoki bowl togeth—
There are no girls like that, either.
What was that for, Tenko?
Don't you know that all girls love sweets?
That's no sweet! It's a sweet monster!
A calorie monster!
You're the calorie monster here!
As you can see, I have a nice body,
so I don't need a diet.
You? A nice body?
Don't make me laugh.
A nice body is a glamorous one with a bit of meat on the bone, Ginko.
Yours is grotesque if anything, Tenko.
Don't get too cocky just because you're slim.
Mark my words, I'll be cuter than you when I lose weight.
Please. My Ginko's definitely cuter,
has bigger boobs, and is willing to do all kinds of perverted stuff.
If I were a guy, I'd stay far away from a bitch like you.
I'd definitely go for Tenko!
Okay, fine, you asshole!
Wanna compete and see who's more popular with the guys?
Bring it!
Let's settle this by picking up guys!
Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
What did they even come here to do? They've got their priorities all mixed up!
Yamazaki Sagaru (F)
Soko-san, you should tell them off!
Sheesh. They have no clue what femininity is all about.
Girls these days are all like...
Hey, mister!
Wanna have fun with an HS girl?
What femininity? You've just degraded into a huge slut!
Hey, you've got loads of money, right?
Sorry,
but I'm an HS girl, too.
What kind of HS girl is that?!
Hopelessly Skint.
That wasn't funny!
I hope Ginko-san and the others are handling this all right.
The Shinsengumi are with them. I'm sure they'll be fine.
It's the Shinsengumi I'm worried about, though.
Anyway, acting feminine to pretend they're following the teachings?
This might be inappropriate, but I could learn a lot from this.
I usually never think about that kind of stuff.
T-Tae-chan,
you're fine as you are.
You're plenty feminine already.
There's no need for you to change,
and I don't want you to, either.
Th-Thank you.
Gosh, this is throwing me off a bit...
I know it's you, Kyu-chan,
but it feels like I'm talking to some other man.
I-I'm sorry.
Oh, there's a surveillance camera there!
I'll go take care of it!
Tae-chan!
You don't have to do anything!
Wait, Tae-chan!
Are they gone?
T-Tae-chan?
I-I'm sorry!
N-No...
I-I'm s-s-s-sorry, t-too...
I-I p-panicked and m-messed up...
Oh, there is a camera over there, too...
Tae-chan!
Th-This is fine.
Th-This way...
I-If we pretend to be l-lovers,
w-we won't draw any suspicion.
What on Earth am I saying?
What in the world am I doing?
I was the one who triggered this mess.
Cleaning it up is my duty and responsibility.
So why is this situation—
Why is being a man
making me feel a tiny bit of joy?
I know that this isn't the time or place.
However, I can avert my eyes no longer!
I mean,
as a man, I'm free to date Tae-chan!
Lovers?
That might be a good idea.
But...
Wouldn't siblings pretending to be lovers start some weird rumors?
What do you think, Kondo-san?
Oh, dear.
But I might not mind being the subject of rumors with a hottie like this.
Be gentle with me, darling.
Hey, mister.
Wanna get some coffee with m—
I'm not a mister!
I'm a granny!
Otose (M)
Hey, mister.
Wanna get some coffee with me—
Shut it, fatty.
Catherine (M)
I'd forgotten that the men in this town right now are all actually women.
I'd forgotten that I'm a fatty right now.
Damn it!
I'll show you that Ginko's definitely more popular than you!
Keep talking!
Crazy bitches like you will always be cast aside.
In the end, men always come back home, seeking Tenko's kindness!
Hey, mister!
Wanna get some coffee with me?!
Sheesh. I'm utterly fed up with the men of this town.
You're out picking up guys without doing anything to fix this crisis?
Surveillance cameras?
It was only after I became a man that I realized...
...just how pathetic and useless the men of this world are.
Get lost, pigs.
Sarutobi Ayame (M) Tsukuyo (M)
How'd it go, Ginko-san?
We managed to deal with close to twenty cameras,
but there were more of them than we thought.
There's no telling just how many there are all across the Kabuki District.
Honestly, I'm not sure we can deal with them all.
Unless we disable the surveillance, we can't even look for the cult's base.
We have no choice but to progress steadily, darling.
I am not your darling!
Aren't we a stalkouple who used to chase after the same person?
I think we could have a long and fruitful relationship.
As if!
Try touching me one more time.
I'll cut you!
Enough.
That matter's already settled.
What do you mean, already settl—
It's as she said.
There's not a single surveillance camera left in this town.
While you were kicking up a fuss after turning into women,
they were all taken care of
by us guys!
Th-The cameras!
Wha—
Who's that bespectacled character trying to steal my role?!
Doing something this conspicuous will only attract their atten—
Don't worry.
If you don't want to be found out, then instead of just the eyes,
take everything out, including the ears, mouths, hands, and feet all at once!
Those bastards holed up in the ground
no longer have any access to outside information.
Now we just have to wait
for its head to poke out and gasp for air!
Yoshiwara Vigilante Corps Hyakka (M)
I have no need for cowards.
If any of you are real men, then come with me!
What?
All of the surveillance cameras were destroyed?
Yes.
They were all single blows from a blind spot.
None of the cameras have recorded the actual crime.
And at the same time, we lost all contact with the outside patrol.
It can't be. Nobody could pull that off.
Anyway, we cannot ignore this.
Wait!
The archbishop ordered us not to leave our posts, no matter what!
This is an emergency!
Now is not the time to be worrying about—
Rest assured.
We are fellow Dekobokkoists.
Men must be manly, and women feminine.
We have come here to remain true to Dekobokkoism's sole doctrine.
Behold! We are the men of this planet!
Y-You fiends!
Charge!
Make them regret turning us into men!
Uh...
What's with those guys?
I mean, even if they were sort of macho girls to begin with...
They're way too high-spec!
They're way more manly than we ever were as men!
They're fixing things so fast, it makes all our troubles up to now seem like a joke!
They're completely hogging the spotlight!
Hey, we can't let the women outdo us.
Don't fall behind!
Cunsengumi, move out!
I'll defend this spot to the last.
Leave the rest to me and go ahead.
Go where?!
You think you can sweep it under the rug that easily?!
Quit clogging up that manhole!
I-I'm done for.
I know my body better than anyone.
Leave me and go!
You don't!
That's exactly why you got stuck!
With you in the way, we'll never get to bask in the spotlight!
Calm down, Hijikata-san.
I'll help you outta there.
"Hee, hee, hoo," got that?
Together now.
"Hee, hee, hoo."
I'm not a pregnant woman, you moron!
To Be Continued
Teach Us!! Ginko-sensei
Teach us...
Ginko-sensei!
All right. It's time for "Teach Us! Ginko-sensei."
Not "Miss Machiko" or "Watch out! Luna-sensei."
Don't expect anything like that.
Pen name "Pistol Girl" has a question for us.
"Right now, Gin-san, Kyubei, and everyone have swapped genders.
So I ask, what would Hasegawa-san be like as a woman?
I know you won't have much time, but please answer."
Okay.
We don't have much time, but we'll answer that.
A gender-swapped Hasegawa-san...
Goodbye, cruel world.
...would be like that.
Huh? You want to see his face?
Fine.
Just this once.
Goodbye, cruel world!
Something like that.
The End
Preview
I...
10 - 1 =...
10 - 1 =
Which gender will Jyubei choose?
Can Tenko escape the manhole?
When will Sugita-san return?
Everything will be answered next week, in the finale of the "Genderbend Arc"!